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Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and wellness as human beings. Having positive self-esteem is also important for promoting any type of healing, whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Poor or low self-esteem on the other hand can be quite detrimental to our well-being and even our very existence. sad self-esteem can create anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, problems with relationships, seriously impair academic and job performance and also can generate an increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse and dependency. On the other hand, a man or woman with positive self-esteem tends to be more motivated in taking on and creating a life that he loves, living it powerfully and in this process be authentically related to others in his community. Having positive self-esteem appears to be necessary for having a joyous and healthy existence all the same of who we are or what trade we are taking on in life.
What is self-esteem? We a lot of the time think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular moment. at the same time as seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to think that we have positive or sullen self-esteem and that we make that determination merely by how we feel about ourselves. However, within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence. We do not just merely feel. Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there is a corresponding concept that we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem. Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our organism experiences the thoughts that the man or woman has about himself or herself. If a man or woman has positive thoughts about himself he will experience positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the man or woman has sad thoughts about who he thinks he is then he will experience poor or sad self-esteem. Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly to be able to transform it when necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must 1st get it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and the assorted emotions associated with it.
We also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the occasions that take place in our life, particularly those from our past. We tend to think that who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is simply the product, effect or brought on by the experiences that we have had in the past, that we are who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings. More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the matter of who we think we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something we in fact developed or created. Within the work of transformation, it is not the past, circumstance, situation or others, that determines our underlying self-image and corresponding self-esteem. We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our life, particularly at an early age. As meaning making machines we give meaning to everything in our life including and most importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us. at the same time as occasions do happen it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how we made it out to be about our identity.
Given the fact that our thoughts determine our feelings or emotions and equally important that we are truly responsible for their creation, to amend or vary our self-esteem, how we tend to feel about ourselves, amounts to us altering how we see or conceive of ourselves in the world in the now and this work is our responsibility alone. It is our self-image, how we define ourselves as an man or woman in the world in the present, that determines our experience of self-esteem and it is this that we are truly responsible for creating and equally responsible for transforming. When we change or transform our definition of ourselves in the present we change how we feel about ourselves and with it our experience of factual factual reality and life in general. If we do not get it that we are responsible for what we think about ourselves and that we are the real author of our self-image and self-esteem we will continue to blame something or some body, remain powerless and stuck in life. The question of how to in fact go about altering or improving an individual’s self-esteem is one that has been debated for many years by professionals both in the mental health and addiction arenas.
Self-esteem can be superior or transformed in loads of ways. One way to vary ones self-esteem is to do the work of transformation as outlined in my articles, Transformational Counseling and The Conversation of Transformation. To transform ones self-esteem in this way is to become present to ones self limiting belief, that which has stopped us in life and in the process create new possibilities for oneself, a new self-image from which to start to live life into. one other way to adjust an individual’s self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations. Given that the basis of self-esteem is the ideas that a man or woman has about himself, an person with poor or sullen self-esteem is believing sullen ideas or ideas about who he thinks he is. The man or woman may think, for example, that he is “worthless” or “not good enough” and as a result will tend to experience poor or sad self-esteem. Within the work of transformation and Transformational Counseling, the concept that is at the basis or core of our self-talk is defined as a person’s Self Limiting Belief, the fundamental or core belief about who we think we are. Unless this core thought or belief that a man or woman has about himself is changed or transformed he will continue to experience a poor or depressed self-esteem and as a result of this gloomy thought pattern create or generate life experiences that will match and validate what they believe about themselves. Given such a cognitive and emotional situation life will persist to appear as it has in the past and ones future will simply be the probable almost certain future.
Utilizing positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool for transforming what a man or woman thinks about himself and as a result amend the individual’s self-esteem. Consistent use of positive affirmations will amend the sullen beliefs about who a man or woman thinks he is into positive ones, will begin to adjust the basis and structure of his self talk or inner voice and produce a transformation from poor self-esteem to positive self-esteem. at the same time as utilized in a varied ways, working with positive affirmations will be more effective when delivered through or mixed with therapeutic relaxation music. What therapeutic relaxation music does to enhance the effect of positive affirmations is to create a very composed audio environment for the man or woman to become even more undo or suggestive to the language of positive affirmations. When therapeutic relaxation music is combined with binaural audio tones the audio space that is created for the delivery of positive affirmations is even more relaxing and as a result very powerful. In addition to utilizing a unique type of therapeutic relaxation music, the infusion of either theta or alpha binaural tones is crucial for the success of this type of intervention. When therapeutic relaxation music and binaural audio tones are combined in this fashion the man or woman will experience a very deep state of relaxation and as a result be more unfasten to the reception and eventual acceptance of the positive affirmations.
The key to the effective use of positive affirmation in this or any other type of intervention is consistency. The self-image and the miserable thoughts about who a man or woman thinks he is that generates his experience of poor or gloomy self-esteem is well established in the his belief system. In many times the development of a morose self-image took years to create and has been reinforced through repetitive behavioral validation. Once a man or woman creates and then believes that a self-limiting belief is true he will continually act as if it is true. This seemingly fundamental belief will appear to the man or woman as factual and as a result will continually be acted upon and thereby be reinforced through ones behavior. Much of that person’s behavior will be to continually validate who he thinks he is. Ones behavior will always be directed at supporting, reinforcing and validating what the man or woman believes is true about him. at the same time as necessary for ones well-being and health, such a transformation of ones self-image from being basically a sad one to one that is fundamentally positive does not happen instantly. As with the development of an individual’s sad self-image, the development of a more adequate belief about the true nature of the man or woman will necessitate consistent and recurrent work by the man or woman. Basic to this process is that the man or woman must fully grasp his sense of complete responsibility for the development of his self-image and also for its transformation. To do otherwise will only leave the man or woman feeling powerless and unable to create the life that he or she truly desires and unless there is consistency and repetition such a transformation will simply not occur.
Enhancing My Self Esteem is an audio product that will with ease adjust the very structure of an individual’s thought or belief pattern, the basic ideas and language structure that he uses to define who he thinks he is in the planet. This product was designed specially to amend the self-talk that a man or woman experiences on a daily basis by changing the ideas or beliefs that the person has about himself, the very foundation or backdrop of his inner conversation. As our identity is merely language, alter the language in a person’s mind and his life transforms. By listening to this product an man or woman has the opportunity to practice or repeat 50 positive affirmations that will empower them to modify their life. Within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, committing an affirmation to spoken word makes it so or real particularly if it is done repeatedly. Listening to positive affirmations before sleep also allows the person’s mind to begin this restructuring or reprogramming process even while the man or woman sleeps by taking the words and language into their dream state. By consistently listening to and practicing the positive affirmations in this product the man or woman will have the opportunity to start to redefine themselves, who they believe they are in the world, from one that is gloomy to one that is positive and enhancing for their life. With the acceptance of the words and language of the positive affirmations will come an enhanced self-image and with it an experience of positive self esteem.
I am at present using Enhancing My Self Esteem with all the clients that I counsel at the Holistic Addiction treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida. All of the clients that I have worked with who are experiencing a drug and/or alcohol dependency problem also have very low self-esteem. My clients tend to be extremely depressed and unmotivated in many if not most of the varied domains of their life, including and especially with their recovery. When given to my clients as homework, consistent use of Enhancing My Self Esteem alters how they believe and improves how they feel about themselves. With an better self-image and superior self-esteem my clients become more motivated in their life and especially with their recovery. If a person continues to experience low self-esteem and there is no intervention to disrupt the underlying cognitive process taking on improving their life and working the 12 Step Program will be meaningless and eventually given up completely as so many other things have been in the past. It is my belief that not altering or transforming the fundamental structure of ones self-image accounts for the big percentage of folks who begin recovery and eventually relapse. The work that is essential to successful recovery is for the person to be able to redefine who he thinks he is, to change his self-image, the extremely foundation of his experience of self-esteem and life. Who the person believes he is will determine what he does and how he will be in and appear to others and the world.
Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
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